Saturday, December 30, 2017

'I should have died a long time ago': The terrifying drink and drug abuse. His 'disgusting' racism. And the appalling loss ...

http://ift.tt/2lq0v89


Drunken violence, racist abuse, flagrant drug-taking and ‘disgusting’ behaviour. Eric Clapton: Life In 12 Bars is not your usual brand-bolstering music movie.

In one of many shocking confessions in the film, Clapton admits, ‘The only reason I didn’t commit suicide was the fact that I wouldn’t be able to drink any more if I was dead.’

Anyone expecting a whitewash should look away now.

Stripped of the customary talking heads and cosy in-studio reminiscing, the feature-length documentary simply tells the superstar’s shadow-strewn story, often in Clapton’s own gruff voice, and in doing so may have forged a new movie genre: rock-star noir.

Life In 12 Bars delves into Eric Clapton’s addiction, insecurity and jealousy, even his brief flirtation with racist buffoonery in the mid-Seventies

The unflinching film examines the dark and turbulent times of the legendary British guitarist, and it goes deep. Rarely has a national institution been so fearlessly explored, and all with the musician’s full co-operation.

Director Lili Fini Zanuck, Clapton’s friend of 25 years, has created such a frank account of her subject’s drinking, drug abuse, grief, deceit, fear and confusion that her film could almost be a blues song.

‘I think it was a deeply cathartic process for Eric,’ says Zanuck, who conducted hours of ‘extraordinary, exhilarating’ audio interviews with Clapton. ‘He is a very private person, but part of his nature is that he’s also extremely interested in the truth and has no problems in exposing his own foibles. ‘Eric had to put a lot of trust in me,’ adds the Oscar-winning producer of Driving Miss Daisy. ‘He knew I wasn’t going to sugar-coat anything.’

Fans will be enchanted by the quality of the footage unearthed but Life In 12 Bars also shines a light on the sadness at the heart of the music and into the soul of the man.

Clapton was born with the blues, the trouble starting with his mother. He grew up in ‘a house of secrets’, believing that his grandparents Rose and Jack Clapp, Clapton’s birth name, were his mum and dad and that his real mother, Pat, was his older sister.

This would ultimately affect all his future relationships, from wives to girlfriends – Clapton famously stole Beatle George Harrison’s wife Pattie Boyd – and his own family.

Life In 12 Bars delves into Clapton’s addiction, insecurity and jealousy, even his brief flirtation with racist buffoonery in the mid-Seventies, flaws that would have had most controlling rock stars frantically fumbling for the edit button.

Clapton playing with Cream. Fans will be enchanted by the quality of the footage unearthed but Life In 12 Bars also shines a light on the sadness at the heart of the music

Clapton with John Mayall's Bluesbreakers. Clapton was born with the blues, the trouble starting with his mother

Clapton with The Yardbirds. The band and Clapton are members of the rock 'n' roll Hall of Fame

Not Clapton. For all his failings as a man – his achievements as a musician are inarguable: Jimi Hendrix called him ‘the fairest soul brother in England’ – you can’t question his courage in endorsing such a raw and revelatory project. But this clear-eyed study of the 72-year-old virtuoso begs one big question: how the hell is Clapton still alive? As Zanuck notes: ‘This man was doing everything he could to kill himself.’

I once asked the reclusive bluesman how he’d managed to avoid such a grim finale.

‘The mystery is, why haven’t I died?’ he chuckled, and in person Clapton is remarkably cheery company. ‘I’ve certainly walked through a lot of fire.’

Later he added, ‘By rights I should have kicked the bucket a long time ago. For some reason I was plucked from the jaws of hell and given another chance.’

Clapton’s soulful sound has spoken to successive generations since his discovery as a 17-year-old electric guitar prodigy in 1963.

A clutch of Clapton classics

SUNSHINE OF YOUR LOVE Cream’s acid-rock wig-out from the Disraeli Gears album. Brilliant British psychedelia with a riff inspired by Jimi Hendrix. 

BADGE Co-written with love-rival George Harrison. A Beatles-esque pop song until Clapton lets fly with an unforgettable solo. 

LAYLA Eric’s lyrical attempt to win the heart of Pattie Boyd (then Mrs George Harrison). The deathless guitar duel with Duane Allman on the original recording defies the decades. 

I SHOT THE SHERIFF Languid take on the Bob Marley anti-authority anthem that fired Clapton to No 1 in the US and helped catapult the Jamaican singer to superstar status. 

LAY DOWN SALLY Seductive shuffle with an infectious chorus sees Clapton at his breezily effortless best. Big hit and FM radio staple Stateside. 

WONDERFUL TONIGHT Drunken, grumpy but still somehow lovable. Clapton’s silky Stratocaster transforms a cynical, aren’t-you-ready-yet? moan into a tender love song. 

TEARS IN HEAVEN Written after the tragic death of his young son Conor in 1991. The saddest song of them all. 

OLD LOVE Imperial modern blues from the old master. Romantic regret elegantly expressed through taut songwriting and peerless guitar expertise.

He was a legend by the age of 20, having forged a reputation as a fearsome player and a surly blues purist to boot. ‘I was very scholarly about the music,’ he recalls of his early days. At 25 he made what is widely considered the best blues-rock album of all time as Derek And The Dominoes, Layla And Other Assorted Love Songs.

Clapton is the only three-time inductee to the Rock ’n’ Roll Hall Of Fame, as a solo artist and as a member of The Yardbirds and Cream, and is estimated to be worth in the region of £150 million.

Having overcome some serious health scares, firstly with peripheral neuropathy, a condition that causes shooting pain and numbness in the extremities, then a chronic skin condition that required him to wear cotton gloves (‘it’s all part of getting old, man’), Clapton has returned to live work and plans to play a homecoming show at Hyde Park this summer.

It is little wonder that the excitable slogan ‘Clapton Is God’, daubed on walls in London during the late Sixties, has begun to re-appear around town. When I met him in the mid-Nineties for a lengthy interview, he expressed a preference for the nickname Slowhand. The conversation veered between hilarious and harrowing.

He’d been sober six years (‘because one drink is too many and a thousand isn’t enough’) and off the cigarettes for three months, which he had quit using hypnotherapy.

Clapton and Boyd had divorced in 1988 after a short-lived marriage and since then he had so many glamorous girlfriends, including models Naomi Campbell, Carla Bruni and Marie Helvin, it was difficult to keep up.

‘The one thing that was always glaringly obvious to everyone else apart from me is that I don’t do very well in relationships,’ he said.

It was just three years after the death of his four-year-old son Conor, who had fallen from the window of a Manhattan skyscraper in 1991 and the subject was still too raw to dwell on. ‘When I lost my son, I didn’t run off and hide,’ Clapton said softly. ‘I wrote a song [Tears In Heaven] and gave it to the world, and I think people respected that.

‘It’s like a prayer. I wrote three or four lines of prose and I knew that other people would immediately recognise the feeling within those lines.’

The segment of Life In 12 Bars that covers the tragedy is devastating. ‘I felt as if I had stepped backwards out of myself,’ says Clapton in voiceover. ‘I could not grasp it.’ Had he lived, Conor Clapton would have been 32 this year.

In a curious twist of fate, Clapton’s 1992 Unplugged album, which featured Tears In Heaven, went on to sell 26 million copies and receive three Grammys, becoming his most commercially successful recording and the best-selling live album ever, making him a global superstar all over again.

‘But once you find out that money and fame and success doesn’t do it, where do you go then?’ Clapton pondered that afternoon.

Clapton with his son Conor who fell to his death from the window of a Manhattan skyscraper in 1991. Clapton wrote Tears In Heaven to process the grief

Life In 12 Bars moves briskly through the depressed drinking days. Clapton guesses that he was consuming up to three bottles of brandy a day, holed up in his Hurtwood Edge mansion in Surrey, but can’t remember much other than ‘being in that alcoholic tunnel’.

I once had the good fortune to travel on Concorde alongside a non-drinking Clapton as he returned from an awards show in New York in the late Eighties.

While jetting in supersonic splendour, the thrifty riff-meister made a surprise purchase of 400 duty-free cigarettes. ‘Kind of sums me up, doesn’t it?’ he hooted, when reminded of the money-saving move, years later. ‘I was probably in between my working-class bloke and international playboy phases.

‘All those years when I was being a drunk I wore second-hand clothes and ate fish and chips and baked beans. So right up until my 40s I was living out this phoney working-class ethic. It was part of that drunken prejudice, like a hardline bigot.’

This might partially explain Clapton’s notorious ‘Enoch Powell’ speech at a Birmingham concert on his 1976 UK tour. Using unacceptable language, the guitarist declared his support for the controversial former Conservative minister, and insulted immigrants, stating that Britain had become ‘a black colony’.

Clapton agonised over including printed excerpts from the racist rant in Life In 12 Bars, before deciding to take full ownership of his past behaviour.

Clapton pictured with model Carla Bruni in 1989

Clapton takes a break from recording his album "No Reason To Cry" at Shangri La recording studio in 1975

‘When I realised what I had said,’ Clapton confesses in the film, ‘I was just so disgusted with myself. It was shocking and unforgivable and I was so ashamed of who I was, a kind of semi-racist, which didn’t make sense.’

‘The racism thing was very hard for him,’ adds Zanuck. ‘Because he doesn’t even know who that person is. It was the only part he even mentioned to me, but he didn’t ask me to take it out.

‘He says in the movie, even listening back to some of his old music is tough, “because I can hear how drunk I am”.

‘But he has also said to me that when you’re an alcoholic or drug addict, that it is just suppressing something. That a**hole is in there somewhere.’

Clapton cleaned up his act, got sober and lived to tell the tale, invariably through his eloquent guitar playing. His influence can still be heard today. On Jools Holland’s Hootenanny this evening, long-time Clapton devotee Ed Sheeran will play a rendition of Layla. In turn, the older musician has taken an interest in Sheeran. The two sang together on Clapton’s I Will Be There last year.

Clapton pictured with with his 'soulmate' Melia McEnery, 41, his wife of 16 years

Life In 12 Bars ends on an upbeat note. We join Clapton, the contented husband and father, larking around with ‘my soulmate’ Melia McEnery, 41, his wife of 16 years, and their three daughters, Julie, Ella and Sophie.

‘I finally found the family I always wanted, and always needed, and now here they are and I’m one of them, my life is completely full,’ Clapton says, revealing that the man we called God was only human after all. 

‘Life In 12 Bars’ will be broadcast live in cinemas on Jan 10 followed by a Q&A with Eric Clapton and Lili Fini Zanuck hosted by Jools Holland. The film is released nationwide on January 12

 



All Hypnosis Feeds

via hypnotherapy - Google News http://ift.tt/2DwucMi

December 30, 2017 at 07:00PM

Senior living: Physical therapy is route to healing

http://ift.tt/2lprZLf

  1. Senior living: Physical therapy is route to healing  Daily PressFull coverage


All Hypnosis Feeds

via hypnosis - Google News http://ift.tt/2BPozbH

December 30, 2017 at 05:43PM

The Power of Vulnerability

http://ift.tt/2Curl6j

Welcome to my confessional!

(Yes, my confessional is an international website where thousands of people read and–perhaps–groan at my pithy columns).

As I write my latest screed, I often wonder, Am I being too vulnerable? From discussing my frayed family (insert a wry Happy Holidays) to my smoldering anxiety, I divulge my biggest, baddest secrets to, well, everyone.   

Despite my well-worn hesitation, the answer is a resounding no. In fact, maybe I should be a little more vulnerable.

Sure, there is an understandable tinge of embarrassment and anxiety when sharing my personal failings. There is a nagging sense that my brazen honesty could jeopardize my future employability. Perhaps a future employer will google “Matt Loeb” and discover my treasure trove of anxiety-soaked ruminations on obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, and familial strife.

And that would be okay — even if I do have to subsist on Ramen noodles and saltine crackers for the indefinite future.

You see — there is power in our shared vulnerability.

In my columns, I touch on human foibles and failings. Specializing in self-doubt — with a touch of self-deprecation, there is an inherent relatability for many readers. Notwithstanding the occasional caustic email (“Your column was so insensitive”), most readers respond with an appreciative message. I struggle with the same paralyzing bouts of depression. …Geez, you summed up my family’s Thanksgiving. Can we just celebrate the holiday season to-go?

More than just commiserating over brutal family soirees, there is a sensitivity — even humanity — underlining our snark. For many of us — myself included, we shroud ourselves in secrecy when discussing difficult emotions and thoughts. It has taken me years to discuss my simmering sibling feuds with my beloved aunts and uncles. It can be equally distressing to broadcast my deepest emotional ebbs to the (Psych Central) world.

But as I have aged and wisened, I recognize there is fortune in misfortune. And power in, at times, feeling powerless. Sharing vulnerability — whether an emotional, physical, or spiritual hardship — strengthens our collective humility and self-awareness.

This truism is more than just a personal Mattism; influential leaders intuitively recognize the power of vulnerability. Starbucks CEO Howard Shultz,”The hardest thing about being a leader is demonstrating or showing vulnerability…When the leader demonstrates vulnerability and sensibility and brings people together, the team wins.” Sharing vulnerability — from confiding to a friend to a therapist to a room of powerful CEOs — provides an opportunity to connect in meaningful, authentic ways. This emotional connection results in mutually beneficial outcomes; research corroborates that we are more likely to act inclusively and compassionately toward others after learning of their personal hardship.

As winter unleashes its ugly wrath. I understand the temptation to retreat into a depressive cocoon of self isolation — and self-flagellation. The holiday season can be particularly challenging — even more so if familial relationships chill. But there is power in our own narrative — even if our pockmarked story doesn’t match our peers’ sparkling narratives.

The real winter chill: concealing your own vulnerability. And not letting anyone else read your book — or, tongue in cheek, Psych Central column.   



All Hypnosis Feeds

via World of Psychology http://ift.tt/2jgn2Ba

December 30, 2017 at 04:40PM

The Surprising Sexuality of (Male) Gamers

http://ift.tt/2lvTbXP

The modern stereotype of people who frequently play video games needs to finally be put to rest. Gamers, as they’re known, are actually not losers residing in their parents’ basement, but rather people from all different kinds of backgrounds who enjoy the entertainment value that spending time playing video games affords.

Along with that stereotype is the belief that gamers’ sexuality must also be less than ideal. Losers in basements can’t have a healthy, positive sex life, right?

Let’s find out…

Research published earlier this year explored the sexual health of male gamers. As the researchers (Sansone et al., 2017) of the current study note, “Videogame use has been associated with improvements in cognitive functions, with improvements in specific intellectual fields according to different game types, such as working memory, processing speed, and executive functions. This ‘brain training’ seems to have positive influences on and, in some cases, preventing obesity and ensuring a correct lifestyle.”

So the researchers wanted to explore gamer’s sexual health as well. In the present study, they did this through the administration of two scientific research questionnaires, the Premature Ejaculation Diagnostic Tool (PEDT) and the International Index of Erectile Function (IIEF-15) online. Researchers also asked the men (ages 18 through 50) to provide additional information about their lifestyle and living habits, as well as their gaming habits.

In all, 599 men answered the call to complete the surveys, but 199 of those men had no sexual activity during the previous four weeks, so the researchers didn’t examine their data. In all, the scientists analyzed data from 396 survey respondents and classified them into two groups — gamers (who averaged at least 1 hour per day playing video games) and non-gamers (who averaged less than 1 hour per day playing video games).

Compared to non-gamers, the researchers found that gamers were less interested in sex — their sexual desire was significantly less. However, gamers were less likely to suffer from premature ejaculation when they did have sex.

Gamers Less Likely to Have Premature Ejaculation, Sexual Desire

The clearly good news based on this self-reporting survey research is that gamers say they have less premature ejaculation than their less-gaming counterparts.

What about the lesser sexual desire reported by gamers? After all, most people might say, “Hey, loss of sexual desire is a bad thing.”

But remember, we’re talking only about men here… Men typically appear to have a higher level of sexual desire than women (although that may be just due to men being more vocal about their sexual needs than women in many relationships). So maybe having a slightly lower level of sexual desire may not be such a bad thing — it really depends on the specific relationship.

How do the researchers explain the possible mechanism at work here?

…[T]he ‘reward system’ of videogames might affect the dopaminergic system; as previously described, dopamine levels increase while gaming. The dopaminergic system also is involved in facilitating orgasm and ejaculation, and dopamine acts as the most important ‘pleasure hormone,’ with an excitatory role in intercourse. D1 receptors, because of their decreased affinity, are activated only during dopamine peaks, in contrast to D2 receptors, which are activated by a slow, progressive release of dopamine. Gaming, as a source of repeated dopamine peaks, might lead to an enhanced steady-state homeostasis and to decreased activation of receptors given the same levels of dopamine; this might cause tolerance in the ejaculatory reflex and a decreased interest in intercourse, providing an explanation to our results.

I think that’s a possible, reasonable explanation, since gaming is intrinsically rewarding (otherwise people wouldn’t be doing it so often). And it would also neatly explain why there’s lesser sexual desire in gamers.

Keep in mind, this is apparently the first observational study that’s investigated this link directly. More research is needed to confirm these results.

But the results are surprising, in that gamers are not the obvious sexual losers the traditional societal stereotype makes them out to be. In fact, if you’re a person looking for a partner who doesn’t suffer from premature ejaculation and isn’t always bugging you for sex, a gamer may be just the ticket.

 

References

Sansone A, Sansone M, Proietti M, Ciocca G, Lenzi A, Jannini EA, Romanelli F. (2017). Relationship Between Use of Videogames and Sexual Health in Adult Males. J Sex Med., 14, 898-903. doi: 10.1016/j.jsxm.2017.05.001.



All Hypnosis Feeds

via World of Psychology http://ift.tt/2jgn2Ba

December 30, 2017 at 11:49AM

Total Wildness: Peaches And Dan Deacon Ignite Norður Og Niður

http://ift.tt/2pVWHjA

  1. Total Wildness: Peaches And Dan Deacon Ignite Norður Og Niður  Reykjavík GrapevineFull coverage


All Hypnosis Feeds

via hypnosis - Google News http://ift.tt/2BPozbH

December 30, 2017 at 11:10AM

The Saddest Thing About How Men View Their Own Depression

http://ift.tt/2DAQwDN


Try reaching out with even the simplest question like ‘How are you doing?’

People are generally compassionate and understanding about people with depression or those who are suicidal.

But, men who are depressed themselves often view their own problems very negatively, new research finds.

Men who are depressed can see themselves as a disappointment and a burden to others.

The results come from a survey of 901 men and women in Canada.

Professor John Oliffe, an expert on men’s health who co-led the study, said:

“While it was reassuring to find that Canadians in general don’t stigmatize male depression or suicide, it was concerning that the men with depression or suicidal thoughts felt a strong stigma around their condition, and many were afraid of being discovered.”

Unfortunately the sense of anxiety and fear that surrounds depression can stop people — and men especially — from seeking help.

Professor John Ogrodniczuk, the study’s other co-lead, said:

“Social isolation is one of the biggest risk factors for male suicide.

By reaching out, even with a simple question like ‘how are you doing?’ or offering to do something together, such as taking in a game, we can help reduce the risk of self-harm.”

The study was funded by the Movember Foundation, a global charity aimed at raising awareness about men’s health.

Jesse Hayman, Director of Community Engagement at Movember Canada, said:

“We’re looking at the issue of mental health through the male lens to ensure that the programs we fund and support are tailored towards men.

Our goal is to help men live happier, healthier, longer lives, and this study supports the importance of helping men stay socially connected, so that they feel they have the support they need.”

The study was published in the Community Mental Health Journal (Oliffe et al., 2016).

Depressed man image from Shutterstock



All Hypnosis Feeds

via PsyBlog http://ift.tt/IWzsTV

December 30, 2017 at 11:04AM

Taneisha lost 51 pounds

http://ift.tt/2lungab

Transformation of the Day: Taneisha lost 51 pounds. After years of fighting the pounds and striving for fitness, she decided to give lasting lifestyle change one last try in 2015. Doing her research, working out at home and adopting a plant based diet were major factors in her success, but having the will to hang in […]
No related posts.


Weight Loss

via Black Weight Loss Success http://ift.tt/2jhFsGf